"Holding Back" - Elimination of Tahlia from ANTM

So I was watching episode 7 of ANTM just now, and while I was praying to God that Tahlia would be sent home this episode, it dawned on me that she reminded me of myself. :/

It's weird because I find her to be the most FRUSTRATING person I have ever watched on ANTM and I don't understand how the hell she made it so far in the competition! She's constantly saying that she has to bring it, but she never does. I think she has too little confidence in herself, and I also think she's too lazy to push herself harder to get outside of her little shell. It really pisses me off because she knows her flaws, wants to fix them, but doesn't!

The reason she reminds me of myself is because I too know my flaws (and I should, seeing how much time I spend analyzing myself and my plethora of flaws) and I know what needs to be fixed, but I never seem to be able to DO anything about them! Like right now, I know that I should be studying like crazy for my Chem exam that's coming up in TWO FREAKIN' DAYS, but instead, I'm watching America's Next Top Model and then blogging about it! I'm seriously hopeless...

What she said after her elimination (FINALLY!) was the following, "I held back in this competition, and I think that's what killed me in the end, but at the same time, it's who I am."

Like, what the hell?! It's like her downfall is also a source of her consolation, which is really twisted. I don't think that I resemble that at all (I hope not!). But on second thought, I think I do actually pride myself in knowing that it's me that is holding myself back, and that if I choose to, I can succeed in anything I do. Deep down I know that overcoming myself and my tendency to procrastinate will be one of my greatest obstacles, yet I still pride myself on simply knowing this fact, even if I don't actually do anything about it.

Thus, I have made a decision:

If I do ever fail at something, I will always learn from my mistakes and not be complacent with "who I may be" at that time. I will always strive to be better and never become stagnant.

It really makes me frustrated to see that a person who resembles me is someone that I would not be proud to be like AT ALL. My only consolation comes from the fact that I am NOT Tahlia, that I CAN change, and I will NOT be complacent with who I am, and hopefully this will make me become a better person that who I am now!

On that note, I should probably go and start studying for my exam! :)

Laugh Always,

-Kim*R